Monday, August 15, 2011

Hey.

So, things are weird.

I've been here and there. I'm at a weird phase in my life I think.
My head is all muddled.

I've been staying at my Mom's (voluntarily) and it's been nice.
I miss waking up in my old room with my awesome hand-painted fan.
I've enjoyed my Mom's homemade lunch; She made me conchitas and carne asada the other day. Yum.

Maybe this whole adult-thing is freaking me out. I've been with Javi almost 5 years now (and the fact that he still hasn't asked me to marry him kind of breaks my heart.) and I think because I never did the get-drunk-and-pass-out-on-a-friends-couch thing while I was younger, I'm wanting to do it now. I've also never lived with anyone that I wasn't in a serious relationship with. I know it all sounds silly, but, Javi got to live with his friends and be independent. I've never done that. I've been living with my significant other since I was 18. The 6 months between Tony and Javi, well, I didn't actually do much really.

I'm just trying to get all this "I-need-to-be-alone" shit out of my system. It was sucky not seing Javi for a few days, but then when I did... it was like, super awesome. It was like the times when we used to go on dates and miss each other and get anxious because we didn't live together. I liked that feeling.

I don't know. I'm glad he toughs it out with me. I do realize that I'm way too impulsive and that I am a handful to deal with, any other guy would have just said So Long and let me be. Not saying that Javier isn't also kind of a handful, just in a different way.

I guess that's why we sorta make a good team, eh.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I haven't updated in a while, simply because, I don't have anything positive to write.

Things are still stressful and crazy and the future of such things are unknown.

I am looking forward to:
-Seeing my two best friends later this afternoon. We'll be heading to Stacy and Jay's housewarming party.
-Spending next weekend at McKinney Falls with family.
-Get away from everything here with both best friends, the boyfriend, and a handful of other awesome friends at the beach. I plan on fishing.

I can't wait til this weight rolls off my shoulders.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

All That Glitter Is Not Gold... Now Gold Is Not A Reality, Real Is What You Live To Be.

So, I don't know how to "talk" about things with people. The only two people I've talked to in depth are Javi and Tony (and whatever, Tony was part of my family, so don't judge me for still telling him things.) But we've been having some family troubles...

To sum it up, my brother has a problem. Did some stuff while he was on said problem, bail was made, pictures were posted in the paper, charges are being faced, accusations are being made and we had to take him to rehab.

It seemed like everything was gonna be ok, until you have to part ways and say good-bye, and that's when the reality sets in and you can't do anything but cry.

I have a strong mind, but not a strong heart, and trying to be the one not to cry while everyone else was, didn't work. I hate seeing my Mother cry, and I hate hearing her blame herself. We stick together through everything though.



It's gonna be ok.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011



This made me smile.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Ok, Today Was A Good Day..

It was actually a good weekend, with hopefully a good Memorial Day Monday off.

Yesterday was awesome even though I didn't do jack shit. I stayed home in my undies and played Star Wars : The Force Unleashed II all day (well, it varied between that, random TV shows, and the interwebz.) I was actually pretty sad at the beginning of the game because I sucked pretty hardcore. I haven't sat down to play a game for longer than 30 minutes in a few years, so I'm rusty to say the least. I couldn't bring my self to start out on Easy or Normal, so I began on Hard and I died at least 13 times within the span of 8 minutes. Games have changed a lot since my Star Ocean and Final Fantasy days. The controls and everything is just way different, but I pushed on and I started getting the hang of it. I was actually more depressed about my lack of gaming skills, than I am about being fat, which is pretty crazy.

Anyways, so that was Saturday. Taco Bell, Video Games, and Internet. The end. Today was pretty awesome as well. We started out at Carrino's for Javi's cousin's graduation celebration (I hate Italian food, so I only ate some bread) and it's always overwhelming. Despite the fact that I have some 300 people in my family and Javi only has like 30 something, I always forget names because I never see them on individual basis', it's always at family gatherings and I just blank out. It was nice though. We went back to his aunts house for cake and such, and then we ventured on our own to Good Will.

We stopped at the one on Brodie since I hadn't been there in forever, and after rummaging through the trinkets and dresses, I found nothing and headed toward checkout with Javi. (He found a WCW dvd) while we were waiting in line, I went to the other register to check out the bracelets and what did I spy? A brand-spanking-new Koala Giga Pet! Eep! I had just tweeted a few weeks ago about how I was looking for one, but didn't want to spend 40$+ on one from eBay. It had no price, so the guy at the register rang it up for .99cents and Javi bought it for me. Score!

We made our way to the Goodwill on Stassney and ended up not finding anything neat there, except some neat whale-type book-end that I took a picture of and I plan on painting it onto canvas eventually. We don't normally go to ThriftTown next door, cause that place sucks, but we went anyways and found myself a bunch of goodies!

I came across this super cute cat plushie that has an adorable little messenger bag attached to her and inside is a little envelope... so I didn't need it, but who could pass that up? Next I found what looks like a teeny tiny bird house shaped like a bat. I'm not sure if it's actually for bats cause... well, that thing is tiny, but we'll see I guess! Over by the toys, because I still check the toy section, I found a bag that had window clingys of my two teams! Giants and Sharks, what are the chances of finding that? Especially in Tejas. Lastly was that huge red thing called a Thigh-Master, cause, if you didn't know, I have HUGE thighs that are about the same size as an average girls waistline. I'm gonna attempt to use this thing and hope it works. I really should be going to the gym, but my job is sooooooo physically demanding, I'm finding it hard to do so.

A little later we headed to the wonderful Trudy's to meet Steve, and I indulged in a few margaritas and a delicious quesadilla. After my belly was full of frozen liqour and cheese, we watched the Hangover 2... which was not as funny as I had hoped for. It had it's funny moments, but I think the original Hangover will remain by far more hilarious than it's sequel. Just my opinion.

We tried to do 80s night, but once we got there, it was too hot, too crowded, the a/c was broken and I was just too damn tired. We only stayed for an hour or so, and enjoyed all the new changes they've made (projector screens showing the video to song being played, a flat screen by the back bar showing movies, and more lights!) now we're home, and I'm making my weekend out to be more interesting than it probably was. Hope yours was great, too!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Fine Time To Fake A Seizure...

to feel your mouth on mine, you're saving me...

Saturday, May 21, 2011

8tracks.com

Break-Up With Me Already!

Yay, I made a new mix with my all time favorite break-up songs. I mean, everyone knows I love sad, sappy, heartache filled songs because I'm a sad little emo kid at heart. So, uh, enjoy!